Wish You A Merry Christmas And Happy New Year latest 2023

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Politically Correct Christmas Carols and Holiday Songs

Christmas carols and holiday songs tend to exclude, marginalize and insult. From now on, these songs will be rewritten with new titles to avoid any real, imagined or perceived offense.

The word Christmas is exclusive to Christians and should be removed. Since it cannot be replaced by the word “holiday” (holy day), we will replace it with the innocuous expression “day off”.

“We wish you a Merry Christmas”

“We wish you a happy non-religious winter day off.”

Noel is another word for Christmas.

“The First Christmas”

“The first non-religious day off in winter”

Do not dare exclude the poor victims of capitalism at this time of year.

“I’ll be home for Christmas”

“I will be home or in a homeless shelter for the non-religious winter day off”

And let’s not let any secret references to race cloud your celebration (if you choose to celebrate).

“I’m dreaming of a white christmas”

“I dream of a day off specific to a non-religious immaterial race in winter”

The physically handicapped should not be excluded.

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day”

“I felt the bells on the non-religious winter day off”

If physical disabilities are mentioned in other songs, they must also be interpreted in sign language and made available in Braille.

“Do you hear what I hear”

“Do You Feel What I Feel”

Angels are spiritual beings, not everyone believes in spiritual life.

“The Angels We Heard From Above”

“Guiding Influences We Felt Up High”

Since the mute cannot sing, we will substitute the term communicate.

“Listen! The Herald Angels Sing”

“Sense! The Herald Guiding Influences Communicates”

The word “holy” has religious connotations. We don’t want to offend the laity.

“Silent Night, Holy Night”

“Silent Night, Devout Night”

And

“Oh Holy Night”

“Oh Devout Night”

The secular can also lack faith.

“Oh, come all, faithful ones”

“Oh Come all Ye of Extreme Loyalty to Non-Material Evidence”

A person should not feel excluded based on where they live…

“Go say it on the mountain”

“Go say it on the preferred geo location”

…or their climate.

“Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow”

“Let it perform a favorite weather pattern, let it perform a favorite weather pattern, let it perform a favorite weather pattern”

Christians are sneaky. They often subtly twist common terms in an effort to appropriate the language. The word “nativity scene” has been diverted to designate exclusively the nativity of Jesus Christ and it must be replaced.

“Far in a manger”

“Away in a bin that contains cattle feed”

The traditional birthplace of Jesus Christ is in Bethlehem, Israel. Since Bethlehem is inside the Zionist-occupied and disputed West Bank, we have to give this song a tentative name.

“O little town of Bethlehem”

“O Picturesque City of Palestinian Joint Rule”

It was a good transition to using physical descriptions. The word “small” should never be used. It’s degrading. Especially when used to describe a person. References to a person’s gender are also prohibited, especially when they contribute to reinforcing stereotypes.

“Little Drummer”

“Vertical Challenge Child Drummer of Undetermined Gender”

Other genre-specific songs need to be redone.

“Frosty the Snowman”

“Frosty the Hermaphroditic Snow Creature”

And

“Oh come let’s worship it”

“Oh come let’s worship him or her”

This also applies to stereotypical roles in parenthood and heterosexuality.

“I saw mum kissing Santa Claus”

“I saw my gynocentric caretaker kiss a gender neutral person known to wear a red suit”

We can’t stereotype overweight people as happy, or refer to a person’s age. Even though they are holy (another subtle religious term)

“Jolly Old Saint Nicholas”

“Happy, tall, chronologically gifted, very virtuous

Nicholas”

We kept the term Nicholas to preserve a certain tradition. We are not implying that Nicholas has to be a male name and men are the only ones capable of amassing enough fortune and possessing the bounty to be able to give gifts to masses of people. Nor are we implying that women lack the physical strength and stamina to perform such a task. In order to balance this misperception, we will apply modern affirmative action to level the male ego and help level the playing field.

“We are the Three Kings of the East”

“We, the three misogynistic autocrats of East Asia, are”

This is especially true for Westerners…

“Good King Wenceslas”

“Wenceslas, the European Misogynistic Autocrat of the Evil White Male”

…doubly, especially if they are Christians

“Good Christian Men Rejoice”

“Narrow-minded homophobic, racist and misogynistic men become drunk and violent”

We don’t take tradition lightly. We have actually found a traditional song that we will keep badly in its entirety. We think this song accurately portrays the typical man.

“Mr. Grinch”

Sample lyrics: “Your soul is a ghastly dumping ground overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of mutilated trash imaginable in tangled knots!”

Songs of Thanksgiving or, Autumn Day Off, will also need to be deconstructed.

“Above the River and Through the Woods”

“Above the River and Through the Woods”

Captioned: ‘Only after an Environmental Impact Assessment of the effects of a horse-drawn sleigh on the woods was conducted. And assuming the gentle vegetarian beast of a horse is not obliged to pull an overloaded sled and does so on a voluntary basis.”

We realize this one may lose some of the warmth of its original meaning. It could be avoided if the grandma (or grandparents) would just go back to town and help stop the sprawl.

And last but not least, we must help swing the cultural pendulum from the religious holiday to the state-granted secular day off. We can do this through songs that shed light on the true Marxist origins of political correctness.

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”

“Rudolph the Red knows that the seizure and redistribution of private wealth by the state is fairer than private charity and guarantees the survival and growing power of the state”

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